Today was a normal day. Getting ready for school, work, after-school activities, dinner, hang-out time, and bedtime. Today was a normal day, until bedtime. For an unknown reason, tensions were high. It was a test of wills to pick up. In tonight’s case, the couch cushions had made their way to the floor, in a failed round of couch fort. Ugg.
My life is about joy right now. I am learning about peace, bliss, and happiness. Why am I having a power struggle out of the blue with a kindergartener? La la la, I can’t hear you. Remain calm. Which I did through the tears, the floor tantrum, and the countless nos to my pick-up requests. Cognizant of allowing choice in a power struggle, I could hear my voice rising, when my two options were met with the refusal to choose. Ugg.
I certainly wasn’t thinking about joy during that power struggle. I did have clarity until my voice started to rise and I found myself at odds with disobedience. The clarity was to stay calm. To do my own thing, not let this tantrum control both her and me. It is almost surreal watching kicking and screaming pounding fists and feet to the ground knowing it will do nothing to hurt me. The cushions still needed to be picked up. It could be now and I could be in 5 minutes when the energy was spent.
I expect the state of joy to be like that. An almost surreal experience, feeling content, and at peace, no matter what is going on around me, tensions and all. Perhaps that is why joy is most described in fleeting moments. It will take a lifetime to master living in a state of joy.